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Fasting means to deny yourself of something.

I think of denying myself of anything and I get anxious or feel entitled.  That is me. I want what I want when I want.  I am selfish.

Our church and the churches in our area are doing a fast the next 21 days. This is an awesome opportunity to grow closer to God. What you would fast is your choice. But fasting is talked about in Isaiah 58 and many other places in the scriptures.  Jesus said, in Matthew 6:15-17, when you fast.   All of this gives me pause to check myself.

I have fasted often… But not enough for me and not for the right reasons.

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So, I have been a father for over 30 years.  If you have been a father (or mother probably more importantly because mothers carry all children even longer than us guys and bear pain we can’t even imagine) you know what this parenting means, especially that of a teenager….16 year old..and a daughter….I have 3 of them (daughters) and one son.  All but one are over 16.   It is first an honor.  I cherish being a dad.  There are few relationships as precious as that of a parent.  I am proud to be a parent of all my children but…this does not change the difficulty of being a parent…..of a young child…..like I once was…..and am in many respects …. still am….a young child…Immature….me…and my children….still growing up….together.

As my wife and I dealt with just normal issues of being a parent with one of our children…I just began to think about me….the selfish part of me….that part that is so self centered…..yes, I thought of me as a child and not a parent…..that part of me that wants to take and not to give, … that part of me that wants it all my way and not any other way…..I began to see what it all meant.  If I am honest with myself…there are times that I don’t want to go to work, to get out of bed, to answer any emails, to talk on the phone…..to not want to have to speak to anyone….I want it my way, in my time, like I want it…..and many times….alone.

God is in charge of our lives, whether we want it or not.  God loves us so supremely that he gave a part of himself so that we could have life forever with him….  

Then I came back to my responsibility.  A parent.  But in love, my wife and I shared with our child what we know God had for her.  

Just like with me….it is up to me…whether I accept or reject God’s plan for my life.  So it is with all of my children.  Accept or reject what God has for us…for me, for my children, and for you.  

God is awesome in my family.  

Confederate-flag

I was a young guy in Flagler County in southern Florida when I grew up.  Rebel Flags were …..well cool.  I went through school de-segration in the 60’s and I remember the fights and the dissension and the…..well…..division between black and white.  It was not pretty.  I was young and confused.  I did not understand the black vs. white thing. I was 8 years old.  I did not judge by color….yet… because many of my friends were….black and were white….  An old lady….Armeila Hall….a black lady was always at my house….and she was in charge until my parents came home at 5pm.

I am driving home tonight and on the road to our subdivision, and I am 55 years old,…I see a truck with a brand new Rebel Flag….Confederate Flag….the stars and bars…fresh…red and blue…13 stars…..2 bars….and I think of what it means to me now….  It is no longer cool.  It is no longer “southern pride” to me.  It speaks of  division.

Then I think of Jesus.  What would he want in my life….not yours….but mine….  Jesus wants unity in my life….Jesus wants to be all to all.  He wants us to love one another….despite our color, our differences,  out divisions.    This Rebel Flag….well, woke me up today.

Have you been out of touch with life and just working to get things done?  I have.  In Romans, Paul talks about how we should work to assist those that are not mature…..and to not argue about disputable things….well, that is me.  It is actually all of us from one time or another.  We all have times of immaturity and do struggle to work things out.  So it is with all of us.  The scriptures tell us that while we were yet in sin, Christ died for us.  That is so very real for me.

So many of us need help in so many ways.  Me first.   So, the whole family is in TF Green Airport in Providence, Rhode Island headed back to Orlando.  Been in New England  for a week.  A family wedding.  A family cancer visitation.  A 6 year old young girl with cancer visit trip. One of those tough weeks in ministry looking at the misery Satan had caused.  My youngest daughter is an extremely outgoing person.  She can engage anyone….well, like my wife.  So, my daughter is in line waiting to board Southwest and there is an older lady, maybe 70 years old standing nearby.  The lady looked distressed.  My  daughter says hello and then just asks the lady why she is going to Orlando.  This is a dangerous question because I just want to get on the flight and get home.

This older New England woman is traveling to Orlando to visit her brother who recently had a heart attack……  Life can be pretty tough sometimes.  The prognosis for the brother was not good.  I tried to disengage myself,  but my daughter would have nothing to do with that.  She asked the woman if we could pray for her there in line in the airport.  So, guess what we did…..?

You would have thought it was a “scene” but what it really was, well,  a wonderful time of sharing, praying and just feeding into a woman who wanted to be ministered to.  You ever needed help?  The Holy Spirit filled the area…..and it was a sweet time.  The scriptures say that we should be ready in season and out of season.…..in the airport and out of the airport. (ok I added this) My daughter began to quote Isaiah on being healed.  You see, God wants us to minister to each other. Engage others as they need our help.  Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to those that need help….they may be on your “list” or not.    Don’t miss an opportunity……. So, you ever needed help?  I have and do..

So, my wife gets an IPhone 4. She does not know what she has. She had some sort if goofy flip type phone that texting was hard and did not show all of the message, did not get email, did not get internet, …. it was just like an old technology phone that was klunkier than an Edsel.  I hated it. We would laugh at it.   Me and the kids have macs.  All in.  But she resisted….until today.

Now, let me tell you this.  She does not know what she has.  She has an Iphone4 but does not know how to work it.  She does not know all it has to offer.  She does not know all that is is capable of.  She does not know all that it can do.  She does not know all that it was made to do.  She does not appreciate the power of it in a traffic jam to get around stuff.  She does not know the power it has to skype all over the world.  She does not know the power of money and purchasing it has.  She does not know …… well, the power and ability of all it was meant to be.  Then, I sit on the porch and think about me and God.

God has all this power, all this salvation, all this healing, all this provision, all this peace, all this love, all this joy, all this forgiveness, all this righteousness…… and I don’t just grab it!  Me!  I don’t access the application.  I don’t use it.  I don’t call on it.  I don’t just get into it and just soak in all that God has for me.  What am I thinking?  My wife has this powerful product and she got it because me and the girls have apple stuff and she sees it and says I want that too.

God has it, I want it too.  I think I can still learn from my wife.  God has all these applications for my life and I don’t know what I have.  I thought she did not know what she has…..it is really me.  God has it for me and you.

So this buddy of mine for 25 years, he was a narc and deep undercover….comes to me after many years.  Once you are a cop and much less, manage narcs,…..they are a strange group.  But this guy was as good as gold.  He had the gift of gab,…was just a pristine guy and knew his stuff…great teacher and fantastic cop.  I am out of the business now, but was a cop for over 20 years….managed a lot of functions in a big police agency in Florida.  Then God just turned my life upside down.  And my cop buddies….worked with me and for me,….did not know how to handle the new person I am.

He hears I gave my life radically to God….comes to me and talks for 45 minutes…..wears me down (a cop interview technique) and asks me if I am a preacher and know God now……  OK.  I have grown to know that this is one of those times for God.

His wife has cancer….he needs prayer…..I know him…he knows me…..this is the way God works!!

His wife went through hell with kemo and radiation.  I can’t imagine.  But I know that God is bigger than cancer.

Look….if a friend of yours needs prayer…..stop what you are doing….don’t worry about what you used to be….your old reputation….your old self…just pray for them and pray …. you…  against breast cancer.  It might be  bad…. but God is over and above this…..  He is able to do more than we can do….  Trust Him.

My buddy called me today…..well, texted me….  His wife’s cancer is now gone.   Could be kemo…no doubt… prayer don’t hurt.  Give it a try.   Spread Hope.  It never hurts.

Ok.   I am still here and not in Heaven.  Darn it.

So, I did not spend my life’s savings on bill boards.  I did not give away everything and wait up all night for the world to end..(although I was up pretty late).    Now, don’t get what I am saying wrong.  The cat that said the world was going to end on Saturday night……May 21, 2011…….I am not saying he is crazy…..  The scriptures just say that no one knows the end date…..not even the son…just the father.  The scriptures say that there will  be many that will say, Lord Lord…..  Don’t  be deceived.   The Scriptures say…..Do not follow them…!

So, what do we do with stuff like this……where the world is supposed to end……and it does not?

Well,……what we do is ……   we just make disciples.  We share the Word of God.  We look at those around us and we minister to them…..on earth as it is in heaven…

I suspect that you know someone that desperately needs Jesus Christ.  I suspect that they…(and me sometimes) does not  know what Jesus did on the cross is an absolute substitutionary work of judgement on us for today.  Share this love of Jesus with them today.

So here is at least one bump lesson.  The surgeon removes the bump.  A golf ball sized growth.  Not cancer.  It hurt for over 8 weeks.

The issue is not the bump.  It is my attitude of denial.  Guys suffer from this….well, at least I do.  So, I am in denial.  I needed help with this bump thing and just ignored it….for quite a few years it appears.

I seem to ignore or deny my irritation issues….(nice clean word for maybe anger or irritation).  I don’t exactly know what makes me aggravated sometimes, I just get that way.  Anxiety, well, again, I don’t know what makes me anxious sometimes, but I get that way.  Fearful,…sometimes I get fearful of how things are going to turn out…..but like all the other things,….I will often first deny it, …instead of really deeply seeking God on what I should do….

I am not sure what denial really looks like, but I think I may have some of it.

Scriptures say that Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.  They say that He will be with us always.  They say that He came  that we would have abundant life….  You know, I sometimes deny all of that too.  I am sure glad that God did not deny us.  My hope is that we will not deny what God has for us.  What He has done for us. What He wants for us.

He is really awesome.

So I have this bump on my hip.  Guys don’t really care too much about lumps, bumps or appearance too much,…especially when it doesn’t hurt or isn’t in the way.  But it sort of got bigger over the last few months.  My wife mentioned it and I ignored it.  That is often what I do when I don’t want to deal with something….I ignore it.  But when my 6 year old boy even notices it….and as it began to hurt….I showed it to my doctor.  He did the obligatory CT and sent me to an orthopedic surgeon since it was on my hip bone.  That guy met with me and wanted an MRI.  He said he may have to refer me to an Orthopedic Oncologist in Gainesville, Florida.  No matter what else he said…I sort of zoned out and that is all I heard.  Big man of faith huh?

The scriptures say I should not worry, the scriptures say that God does not give a spirit of fear,…easy stuff to preach but a quite a bit harder to live.  You ever been like that?  Say something but maybe can’t quite practice it like you want.  That was me these last few weeks.  This has given me some clarity as I have been specifically praying for and visiting 2 different people with cancer….and not to mention a really good friend that survived melanoma.

Practice what you preach…and me a preacher..    God promises to be with us always.  That is all that I could really understand.  I just sort of settled into that.  Really simple.  Not so profound that I had to know a bunch of doctrine or greek to know.  Just that God loves me and will be with  me.

The MRI results came back good.  Got to get the bump out and take a closer look.  I believe all will be well.  Preaching is easy.  Living it….well, lets just say I am still learning that.

louie